ryanvallejo:

"your taste in music kinda sucks"

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dannnylawrence:

unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

Re: Your Anaconda,

Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.

Yours, etc.
A bunless hun

stoleyogirl:

I don’t care if this isn’t your blog type, if you don’t reblog this I’m judg-

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Track: Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers calling...
Artist: Laura (US English)
Album: Alexis Neiers

shinymaplesquid:

shinymaplesquid:

I just got a wrong number text from a stranger that said: “hey can we use ur pool there’s a moose in ours”

#welcometocanada

I’ve never received such a funny text in my life I can’t breathe

UPDATE:
I told them “yes if you send a pic” & they sent me tHIS

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thatfunnyblog:

If she can’t then no one can

thatfunnyblog:

If she can’t then no one can

lnalloweentown:

being the fat friend like

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mishasminions:

I LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE "YOU LITTLE SHIT" IS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT AND IT’S MAGICAL

dogwithhat:

My brothers toothbrushes over the past month
Why is he so angry

guy:

when ur trying to get to know someone but someone keeps interrupting ur convo

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joshpecksister:

if someone asks what college is like you show them this

joshpecksister:

if someone asks what college is like you show them this

s4t4nluvr666:

uhmeliamay:

plot twist: the person you like actually texts you back

plot twist: the person you like texts you first